When I think about Varanasi several words come to mind; Crazy, Bonkers, Disturbing, Ludacrious, Unpleasant and Absolutely Fucking Insane ... Okay that last part was three words but still it's very fitting. Never before have I ever seen so many damn people packed into such a small place at one time, it's like watching 5 people trying to fit through one doorway but not as funny. The streets are narrow and over run with people, cows, dogs and motorcycles. Yes, MOTORCYCLES. As a matter of fact I rode on the back of one through these chaotically small streets in order to get to my hotel which I never would have found otherwise. Not even a map would do me any good, I would need to ask for directions for hours to even get remotely close. But nothing of nothing can possibly describe just how truly fucking crazy this city is. I had heard from everyone that Varanasi was plain and simply nuts and that I should prepare myself physically and mentally for what would be a blatant assault against every one of my senses and maybe even some I didn't know I had. I didn't doubt any of it for a second. Varanasi takes no prisoners as was rightly stated in my Lonely Planet but never could I ever prepare myself for what was to come.
Being that Varanasi is the Holiest City in India in which the dead come to reincarnate, there is quite alot of foreigners that come to see this shocking spectacle. And when theres foreigners in India you can almost guarantee that there is going to be flocks of touts, scammers and beggars trying to get your attention along with your money. From the second you walk outside of your hotel you are almost immediately bombarded with people trying to sell you shit that you dont want and probably will never need. Its quite cumbersome and draining actually, so much so that I debate about whether or not to go outside and deal with the onslaught of people. When I first came to India I got used to people asking me if I wanted any drugs or trinkets and always politely declined the offer but after being in Varanasi for 3 days I can only think about punching every person that comes up to me so hard in their face that they lose all of their teeth and are unable to utter a single word! When you weave your way through the maze of endless streets and walkways eventually (or hopefully) you find yourself at the steps of the ancient ghats among hundreds of dilapidated ruins and people. There is so much going on here at once that I had to sit down from all the overwhelming stimuli. [WARNING: If you have a weak stomach you should probably stop reading here] There are processions of people carrying long colorfully decorated stretchers down towards the Ganges River where they finally meet with the edge of the shore. You figure that its a dead body that they're carrying but it's only until they unwrap the colorfully decorated cloth and reveal its still, lifeless face that you truly understand its dead. One of those "Wow, this is real" moments. They proceed to bathe the body by scooping up handfuls of muggy water from the Ganges and carefully splashing it on the face of dead. I have only seen a dead human in real life once or twice before so this was quite the experience for me, and completely opposite from the funerals I was accustom too back home. However nothing on the face of this person denotes death, as a matter of fact they look quite peaceful in their brilliantly flashy attire. This was really fascinating for me as well. For so long death had been chalked up to be this painfully dreaded event, but when I stared into these lifeless faces all I could see was peace and tranquility. At this moment I didn't feel so bad about death or dying. I felt like it gave me courage for my own inevitable passing. Anyways back to the story. While all of this is happening cows, dogs and goats are eating scraps of garbage off the trash covered beach, kids are coming up to you demanding money or trying to sell you hasheesh and fires are violently burning ash high into the atmosphere. The air is thick with a grey, barely permeable smoke that burns the eyes and nose so bad you want to stop breathing. Then as you begin to gaze deeper into the violent flames as they consume stacks of wood, you notice something. Something that doesn't fit. Then you stare more closely and realize what it is... Flesh and bone searing away in the radical flames. Ill spare you the gory details but thats when it hits you, there is more then just wood in those burning stacks. Once you figure out that your sitting in a fiery graveyard you begin to realize what the ash is that's landing on your clothes and the putrefying air that your inhaling. In that moment I instantly jumped up from my seat as if I had just been stung by a bee. I looked around disorientated, trying to find my composure and quickly snapped back. "This is fucking crazy" I thought to myself, and the truth of the matter is that it is fucking crazy. For the rest of the day after that I was very weak and solemn, reflecting on what I had witnessed earlier.
I have come to realize that although India has a lot to offer culturally (as in it will blow your mind if you can handle it) and architecturally, it is for lack of a better term, an outright shit-hole. Yes I said it and if you care to argue with me about this then please do, I welcome such criticism, but nothing about India is at all clean or sanitary, not the people, not the cities, not the streams not even the hospitals and if you don't believe me then you can come here yourself and experience the true India first hand. Not the India mocked up in the western world to be some sort of spiritual haven or peaceful refuge. I'm talking about the real deal, the one that doesn't give two hot steaming piles of cow feces about what you or anyone else thinks. It's in your face, unrelenting and by no stretch of the imagination a picture perfect holiday vacation. And as I lay in my hard wood bed sick with food poisoning (for the third time now) a headache, and diarrhea all that I can think about is the 10 day countdown before I get to leave this shit infested, overcrowded, nightmare of a place. I know that may sound harsh but that's how I feel, no ambivalence.
Yup that's my rant I hope you enjoyed.
Stay tuned for my next exciting installment where I attend a teaching held by none other then His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama and ride an elephant in Jaipur!
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